Isn’t it a Pity? Dedicated to A. A. Milne

I took a creative nonfiction class during my last semester at BYU. Apart from writing, we read a lot of amazing essays by the likes of Montaigne, Charles Lamb, Chesterton, Martone, Dillard, and many others. I realized that I had been missing out on a fantastic genre, and I am now addicted to reading essays. I think my favorite discovery from the class was the brilliance of A. A. Milne. I have always known him for his Winnie-the-Pooh books, but it turns out he wrote much more. Among short stories, novels, plays, and poems, Milne wrote essays and articles for a British humor magazine called Punch Magazine. If you have never read anything by Milne (apart from his Pooh Bear stories) then do yourself a favor and go here or here or even here to read just a couple of his life changing essays.

Basically, I think that he is the funniest, wittiest, most charming person I have never met. I happily found and purchased a book by him during the graduation sale at the BYU Bookstore called The Sunny side: Short Stories and Poems for Proper Grown-ups and I’ve finally had time to start reading it. I find myself laughing every few seconds. I also find myself wondering where Milne has been all my life. Luckily Brandon is not at all threatened by my recent infatuation, most likely because a) Milne died over fifty years ago and b) both Milne and I were/are happily married to other people (Daphne/Brandon). I think Brandon’s even starting to like him too since I read him little bits every few minutes.

Today, over a tasty ham and Havarti sandwich with an orange for dessert, I listened to the Gershwin tune Isn’t it a Pity? (Sondre can’t sing for me during ALL my meals) and it struck me that the song does perfect justice to my feelings about Milne.

Why did I wander here and there and yonder,
Wasting precious time for no reason or rhyme?
Isn't it a pity? Isn't it a crime?
My journey's ended, everything is splendid;
Meeting you today
Has given me a wonderful idea - here I’ll stay.

It's a funny thing -
I look at you— I get a thrill I never knew.
Isn't it a pity we never met before?

Here we are at last -
It's like a dream, the two of us a perfect team.
Isn't it a pity we never met before?


Imagine all the lonely year's we've wasted,
Fishing for salmon, losing at backgammon.
What joys untasted,
My nights were sour spent with Schopenhauer.

Let's forget the past;
Let's both agree that I'm for you and you're for me
And it's such a pity we never, never met before.

Go read some Milne. You’ll be happy you did.